Narrowboat Ambulance saves the day

In the world of medical emergencies, you hear doctors talk about 'the golden hour'. On Britain's canals, it's more like 'the golden afternoon, possibly stretching into tomorrow'. This weekend saw the ultimate test for the waterway's dedicated ambulance boat, the 'NHS Lifeline'. The emergency? A boater named Brian had reportedly suffered a severe case of 'biscuit-dunking finger strain' after a particularly stubborn Hobnob refused to yield. With the nearest road miles away, the 'NHS Lifeline' was dispatched to his remote mooring near Devizes.

What followed was less a high-speed dash and more a stately, dignified procession. The ambulance boat, with Brian safely tucked in with a cup of tea and a fresh packet of ginger nuts, had to navigate the formidable Caen Hill Locks – a gruelling flight of locks that takes hours to pass through. Paramedics were seen patiently working the lock paddles, occasionally stopping to admire the view.

This latest incident comes after a week of high drama on the canals, which has seen fire crews battling blazing boats and what appeared to be a highly-organised gang of foxes using the towpath as a getaway route.

"It's getting like a disaster movie out here," one canal resident commented. "A very slow, very polite disaster movie where everyone stops for tea."

Brian is said to be recovering well in hospital, though he's now sworn off Hobnobs for life. The 'NHS Lifeline' continues its patrol, proving that no matter how remote you are, the NHS will get to you. Eventually.